Fall 2004 Edition          

At Least Trains Yield    By Traffic Todd   A few months ago I left the NYC workforce and started working in NJ, no more rushing for the morning NJ Transit cattle car wondering if there will be heat or a/c or even enough cars to find a seat on. Oh, let's not forget the "will it be on time" question, which is usually answered by some nameless voice booming over the PA system: "the 7:42 train to Hoboken will be 15 minutes late due to equipment malfunction". Of course this announcement comes 20 minutes later than when the train should have pulled in, like no one figured out that the train was late. By the way, what is an "equipment malfunction"? Is it like a wardrobe malfunction? But now I drive my Dodge 9 miles to the office. Two of the 9 are on Route 80 Westbound, which is the slowest part of the 15 to 20 minute commute.  (For all you friends I left on the train, don't be too jealous!). What drives me crazy on this daily drive in is the fact that no one on NJ roads knows what a YIELD SIGN means. Here's my favorite (worse) example: If you're going west on 80, just past the Route 19 exit is an on-ramp (this is before the Squirrelwood Road exit) where people are flying up the ramp to get on 80 West. There is at least one Yield Sign at the top of the ramp, yes it is partially blocked by a tree branch, but hey you're merging onto a highway, expect to yield - sign or no sign as that acceleration lane eventually ends and it is not always possible for drivers in that right lane to move over to give you room, especially during rush hour.  The last time I checked, a Yield Sign on an on-ramp means that vehicles merging onto the highway are to slow down or even stop if the lane they are merging into is not clear of existing highway traffic. This means that if there is a vehicle in the lane, the ramp traffic must slow or stop NOT squeeze in front of the moving vehicle, causing that driver being squeezed to slam on his brakes and get rear ended by the tailgating idiot doing 70+ miles per hour. I don't get it, where is the common sense and courtesy of yielding to faster moving traffic, is your life so busy or are you so late that you don't care about the carnage left in your wake? Call me crazy, but yikes, NJ drivers are really scary out there and not only on Route 80. Here in our fair town of Fair Lawn you constantly get stuck behind someone who decides that they can't wait for you to pass an intersection or driveway exit before they pull out in front of you (and there's no other vehicle behind you which makes this even crazier!) - AND of course they pull out ten feet in front of you and seemingly forget where the acceleration pedal is located (here's a hint; it's the far right one on the floor in front of you!). Yes we've all been treated to this hurry up and slow down mode of driving, doesn't it drive you batty? Hey I could care less if someone pulled out in front of me, they just need to move their carcass before they end up with a modified rear end. Yeah maybe my stress level has risen a bit since driving to work, I do miss being able to take that 40+ minute nap just about every morning and afternoon and boy has my book and magazine reading really dropped off. But you can't beat leaving work at 5:15 and being home by 5:30; especially during this lovely summer, so the 9-mile commute is well worth a few head shaking moments on Jersey's crazy roads. For those drivers that pass through the Route 208 Interchange and Chandler Drive area on Fair Lawn Avenue I hear that the County is working on easing your turning woes at Chandler Drive. Word on the street is that the County is putting a stoplight at the intersection of Chandler Drive and Fair Lawn Avenue sometime soon. The question is; how is this going to help people exiting Route 208 North onto Fair Lawn Avenue East that need to turn left onto Chandler Drive? Will this back-up the Rt. 208 Exit Ramp? I'm sure that the county traffic engineers will be figuring this one out to ensure a safe and quick moving transition from the 208 Ramp to Chandler that I've been calling the "suicidal sort of yield-slide over left two lanes for a quick stop to make the left turn maneuver while avoiding the vehicles leaving the commuter lot on the right side of the street while not getting rear-ended" maneuver. Well, enjoy your drives around town and Remember to Drive Alert, Drive Patiently and Drive Smartly!   See Traffic Todd's Previous Columns Winter Driving Reminders  (Winter 2004) Spring Motoring (Spring 2003) The Automotive Alphabet (February 2003) Walking Safe (June 2002) Basic Driving  (April 2002)