Fall 2004 Edition          

Conferences are Coming   by Mrs. Ann Lustgarten, Fifth Grade Teacher at the Radburn School   Now that school has begun again, families are filled with activities drawing them here and there. Time never seems to be adequate for all we try to do. When we became parents we made a commitment to support our children and all their endeavors. We do seem to realize that it is important to attend our children's sporting events, dance recitals and the like. Saturday morning finds dads and moms all geared up, oranges sliced, water bottles at hand, ready for the soccer game. We're willing to drive them to and from practice. Carpooling to religious school is simple coordination. Both parents, when a part of the family, participate. However, I find it disconcerting that parents seem to 'split' responsibilities. In intact families, the dad seems to be involved in sports; mom with the school. Obviously, this IS a generalization, but at most PTA/PTO meetings all you see are women - moms!  Occasionally a dad is present, but it is unusual and they rarely reappear. Okay, the argument is that someone needs to stay home with the kids. That's right, but there are babysitters, grandparents, alternating visits, trading with another parent, and so forth. Conference time is coming. Most teachers, at Back-to-School Night, have sign up sheets for December conferences. This is an excellent time to set a date with the teacher and make sure that all caregivers are available for the meeting. Setting the date ahead gives you an opportunity to adjust your work schedule to take a personal day or vacation day. Most teachers try to help working parents with the first or last time slot, when possible. Many teachers, with school-age youngsters, are acutely aware of the difficulties with scheduling as they juggle conferences for their own children, too. Through the years I have had mostly moms, but sometimes mom and dad join me, divorced parents working together for the benefit of their children come together, step-parents have joined us. Grandparents, too! Brothers and sisters, provided with a book or crayons, can wait in the hall. No need for sitters here. Come to the conference prepared with any questions you might have. Sometimes it helps to send a note to the teacher ahead of time if you are requesting particular data so that it can be made available. This is the perfect time to share with your child's teacher any concerns you may have about family situations. (See also the article Telling the Teacher ) The Middle Schools and High School don't have the same conference process. However, I found, as a parent, that most teachers were willing to accommodate a meeting or extended phone call related to a specific issue. Please - - - when conference time rolls around, try to make sure that you come prepared and that ALL caregivers attend. That way, we all are working 'on the same page' to provide for our children. See Mrs. Lustgarten's Previous Columns Tenure For Fair Lawn's Teachers  (Summer 2004) Planning for the Summer  (Spring 2004) Overweight Kids (Winter 2004) Kids in the Summer (Summer 2003) Are Kids Different Today?   (April 2003) Taking Advantage of Down Time  (February 2003) Achoo:  What to Do With A Sick Child   (December 2002) Scheduling After-School Activities  (October 2002) Back To School  (August 2002) Summer With the Kids  (June 2002) PTA/PTO Involvement  (April 2002) Telling The Teacher  (February 2002)